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xMyOwnMindx

manville

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in a little corner

goes every memory ive written down or owned

its funny

how many ways there are to run

and im just messed up

my heart is still broken

its painful

but hes heartless

yearbooks

of friends we never wanted

and things that they dont talk about

we did for fun

he said "dont do it"

my mind couldnt say no

my body couldnt either

i saw past heartbreaks there

but i saw through that

i saw this bliss

this self-detructive

pure, fun.

and i loved the fact mona grabbed me

and was like "come to this part with me friday"

pills didnt come but this kept us happy

so happy to be happy

the running around and strangers

dont mind much

the rap battle

and the blunts passed

one line

two lines

i feel fine

three lines

four lines

im alive.

<3

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Your writing is wonderful! You surpass yourself with each poem you write. There is a deep current in this poem and it comes across magnificently.

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:unsure:

ha, if only you saw that UNedited.

I don't think she would like it, had she seen it UNedited.

lol yea.

well everyones just so uptight.

Not everyone has the same attitude towards drugs that you do.

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:unsure:

ha, if only you saw that UNedited.

I don't think she would like it, had she seen it UNedited.

lol yea.

well everyones just so uptight.

Not everyone has the same attitude towards drugs that you do.

and thats perfectly fine but i dont need people telling me how to live my life.

its MINE to mess up.

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:unsure:

ha, if only you saw that UNedited.

I don't think she would like it, had she seen it UNedited.

lol yea.

well everyones just so uptight.

Not everyone has the same attitude towards drugs that you do.

and thats perfectly fine but i dont need people telling me how to live my life.

its MINE to mess up.

Okay.

*quits talking*

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:unsure:

ha, if only you saw that UNedited.

I don't think she would like it, had she seen it UNedited.

lol yea.

well everyones just so uptight.

Not everyone has the same attitude towards drugs that you do.

and thats perfectly fine but i dont need people telling me how to live my life.

its MINE to mess up.

Okay.

*quits talking*

 

wuts UP with you? :huh:

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:unsure:

ha, if only you saw that UNedited.

I don't think she would like it, had she seen it UNedited.

lol yea.

well everyones just so uptight.

Not everyone has the same attitude towards drugs that you do.

and thats perfectly fine but i dont need people telling me how to live my life.

its MINE to mess up.

Okay.

*quits talking*

 

wuts UP with you? :huh:

I do not want to disagree with you, but I was trying to show you people really do care about you. The friends you have here have nothing to gain by being friends with you, just a true, unconditional caring. We really like you just the way you are, but do not like seeing when you hurt or are self-destructive. That's all. Actually quite simple. We care.

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:unsure:

ha, if only you saw that UNedited.

I don't think she would like it, had she seen it UNedited.

lol yea.

well everyones just so uptight.

Not everyone has the same attitude towards drugs that you do.

and thats perfectly fine but i dont need people telling me how to live my life.

its MINE to mess up.

Okay.

*quits talking*

 

wuts UP with you? :huh:

I do not want to disagree with you, but I was trying to show you people really do care about you. The friends you have here have nothing to gain by being friends with you, just a true, unconditional caring. We really like you just the way you are, but do not like seeing when you hurt or are self-destructive. That's all. Actually quite simple. We care.

 

please dont.

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:unsure:

ha, if only you saw that UNedited.

I don't think she would like it, had she seen it UNedited.

lol yea.

well everyones just so uptight.

Not everyone has the same attitude towards drugs that you do.

and thats perfectly fine but i dont need people telling me how to live my life.

its MINE to mess up.

Okay.

*quits talking*

 

wuts UP with you? :huh:

I do not want to disagree with you, but I was trying to show you people really do care about you. The friends you have here have nothing to gain by being friends with you, just a true, unconditional caring. We really like you just the way you are, but do not like seeing when you hurt or are self-destructive. That's all. Actually quite simple. We care.

I second!

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:unsure:

ha, if only you saw that UNedited.

I don't think she would like it, had she seen it UNedited.

lol yea.

well everyones just so uptight.

Not everyone has the same attitude towards drugs that you do.

and thats perfectly fine but i dont need people telling me how to live my life.

its MINE to mess up.

Okay.

*quits talking*

 

wuts UP with you? :huh:

I do not want to disagree with you, but I was trying to show you people really do care about you. The friends you have here have nothing to gain by being friends with you, just a true, unconditional caring. We really like you just the way you are, but do not like seeing when you hurt or are self-destructive. That's all. Actually quite simple. We care.

 

please dont.

It's unconditional. You do not have to accept it, but it is still there. You will always have a place in my heart.

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:unsure:

ha, if only you saw that UNedited.

I don't think she would like it, had she seen it UNedited.

lol yea.

well everyones just so uptight.

Not everyone has the same attitude towards drugs that you do.

and thats perfectly fine but i dont need people telling me how to live my life.

its MINE to mess up.

Okay.

*quits talking*

 

wuts UP with you? :huh:

I do not want to disagree with you, but I was trying to show you people really do care about you. The friends you have here have nothing to gain by being friends with you, just a true, unconditional caring. We really like you just the way you are, but do not like seeing when you hurt or are self-destructive. That's all. Actually quite simple. We care.

 

please dont.

It's unconditional. You do not have to accept it, but it is still there. You will always have a place in my heart.

EXACTLY

That's me, too, ya know.

agape (uh-GAH-pay) love is when your heart hangs agape (uh-GAYP) with love for all who enter.

Easiest way for me to describe it.

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:unsure:

ha, if only you saw that UNedited.

I don't think she would like it, had she seen it UNedited.

lol yea.

well everyones just so uptight.

Not everyone has the same attitude towards drugs that you do.

and thats perfectly fine but i dont need people telling me how to live my life.

its MINE to mess up.

Okay.

*quits talking*

 

wuts UP with you? :huh:

I do not want to disagree with you, but I was trying to show you people really do care about you. The friends you have here have nothing to gain by being friends with you, just a true, unconditional caring. We really like you just the way you are, but do not like seeing when you hurt or are self-destructive. That's all. Actually quite simple. We care.

 

please dont.

It's unconditional. You do not have to accept it, but it is still there. You will always have a place in my heart.

EXACTLY

That's me, too, ya know.

agape (uh-GAH-pay) love is when your heart hangs agape (uh-GAYP) with love for all who enter.

Easiest way for me to describe it.

i wish you wouldnt care..though i guess its my fault.

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:unsure:

ha, if only you saw that UNedited.

I don't think she would like it, had she seen it UNedited.

lol yea.

well everyones just so uptight.

Not everyone has the same attitude towards drugs that you do.

and thats perfectly fine but i dont need people telling me how to live my life.

its MINE to mess up.

Okay.

*quits talking*

 

wuts UP with you? :huh:

I do not want to disagree with you, but I was trying to show you people really do care about you. The friends you have here have nothing to gain by being friends with you, just a true, unconditional caring. We really like you just the way you are, but do not like seeing when you hurt or are self-destructive. That's all. Actually quite simple. We care.

 

please dont.

It's unconditional. You do not have to accept it, but it is still there. You will always have a place in my heart.

EXACTLY

That's me, too, ya know.

agape (uh-GAH-pay) love is when your heart hangs agape (uh-GAYP) with love for all who enter.

Easiest way for me to describe it.

i wish you wouldnt care..though i guess its my fault.

Maybe caring is my shortcoming. If I develop a friendship, even a cyber one, and I begin to care. It has absolutely nothing to do with fault.

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:unsure:

ha, if only you saw that UNedited.

I don't think she would like it, had she seen it UNedited.

lol yea.

well everyones just so uptight.

Not everyone has the same attitude towards drugs that you do.

and thats perfectly fine but i dont need people telling me how to live my life.

its MINE to mess up.

Okay.

*quits talking*

 

wuts UP with you? :huh:

I do not want to disagree with you, but I was trying to show you people really do care about you. The friends you have here have nothing to gain by being friends with you, just a true, unconditional caring. We really like you just the way you are, but do not like seeing when you hurt or are self-destructive. That's all. Actually quite simple. We care.

 

please dont.

It's unconditional. You do not have to accept it, but it is still there. You will always have a place in my heart.

EXACTLY

That's me, too, ya know.

agape (uh-GAH-pay) love is when your heart hangs agape (uh-GAYP) with love for all who enter.

Easiest way for me to describe it.

i wish you wouldnt care..though i guess its my fault.

Maybe caring is my shortcoming. If I develop a friendship, even a cyber one, and I begin to care. It has absolutely nothing to do with fault.

 

i dont know. i have thought that this would be better if i just sereved all ties with everyone i know.

but i dont see how that would work.

life stinks so bad today. -_-

i had THREE tests and a quiz

i have a project due tomorrow

i havnt worked out in days

im like.. between a boyfriend

he says he'll see me soon.

i dont know how i feel

i semi broke down to my mom today

i started crying and i was yelling about how i hate myself and how i dont understand how people live. i asked her if everyone felt this way.. im so tired of living my life.

i dont have the courage to kill myself though

i couldnt

i would have if i did

i know wut i need to feel okay

i need to control myself

push these thoughts out of my head

exercise more

study more

get my job offcially

make money

and party my worries away

ill be okay./

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i wish you wouldnt care..though i guess its my fault.

Maybe caring is my shortcoming. If I develop a friendship, even a cyber one, and I begin to care. It has absolutely nothing to do with fault.

 

i dont know. i have thought that this would be better if i just sereved all ties with everyone i know.

but i dont see how that would work.

life stinks so bad today. -_-

i had THREE tests and a quiz

i have a project due tomorrow

i havnt worked out in days

im like.. between a boyfriend

he says he'll see me soon.

i dont know how i feel

i semi broke down to my mom today

i started crying and i was yelling about how i hate myself and how i dont understand how people live. i asked her if everyone felt this way.. im so tired of living my life.

i dont have the courage to kill myself though

i couldnt

i would have if i did

i know wut i need to feel okay

i need to control myself

push these thoughts out of my head

exercise more

study more

get my job offcially

make money

and party my worries away

ill be okay.

 

I can't help but care, Lauren. You're human, aren't you?

That's jsut who I am. If you want to know how much I care about you, go read DCTalk's JesusFreak series.

Now that's a radical faith....

 

Moving on.... :blush:

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i wish you wouldnt care..though i guess its my fault.

Maybe caring is my shortcoming. If I develop a friendship, even a cyber one, and I begin to care. It has absolutely nothing to do with fault.

 

i dont know. i have thought that this would be better if i just sereved all ties with everyone i know.

but i dont see how that would work.

life stinks so bad today. -_-

i had THREE tests and a quiz

i have a project due tomorrow

i havnt worked out in days

im like.. between a boyfriend

he says he'll see me soon.

i dont know how i feel

i semi broke down to my mom today

i started crying and i was yelling about how i hate myself and how i dont understand how people live. i asked her if everyone felt this way.. im so tired of living my life.

i dont have the courage to kill myself though

i couldnt

i would have if i did

i know wut i need to feel okay

i need to control myself

push these thoughts out of my head

exercise more

study more

get my job offcially

make money

and party my worries away

ill be okay.

 

I can't help but care, Lauren. You're human, aren't you?

That's jsut who I am. If you want to know how much I care about you, go read DCTalk's JesusFreak series.

Now that's a radical faith....

 

Moving on.... :blush:

 

 

yea,

well i can sqaure with that

but like you gotta just see im not so bad..

i oknom i do everything 'wrong' but your standards

but like.. idk. this just feels right.

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i wish you wouldnt care..though i guess its my fault.

Maybe caring is my shortcoming. If I develop a friendship, even a cyber one, and I begin to care. It has absolutely nothing to do with fault.

 

i dont know. i have thought that this would be better if i just sereved all ties with everyone i know.

but i dont see how that would work.

life stinks so bad today. -_-

i had THREE tests and a quiz

i have a project due tomorrow

i havnt worked out in days

im like.. between a boyfriend

he says he'll see me soon.

i dont know how i feel

i semi broke down to my mom today

i started crying and i was yelling about how i hate myself and how i dont understand how people live. i asked her if everyone felt this way.. im so tired of living my life.

i dont have the courage to kill myself though

i couldnt

i would have if i did

i know wut i need to feel okay

i need to control myself

push these thoughts out of my head

exercise more

study more

get my job offcially

make money

and party my worries away

ill be okay.

 

I can't help but care, Lauren. You're human, aren't you?

That's jsut who I am. If you want to know how much I care about you, go read DCTalk's JesusFreak series.

Now that's a radical faith....

 

Moving on.... :blush:

 

 

yea,

well i can sqaure with that

but like you gotta just see im not so bad..

i oknom i do everything 'wrong' but your standards

but like.. idk. this just feels right.

My standards? They aren't my standards.

You're right. You're not that bad by my standards. My standards are as human as yours, just a bit tempered down. God's standards are the ones I follow, not mine.

 

If it were the other way around, I'd be as bad off as my ex. That's bad.

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i wish you wouldnt care..though i guess its my fault.

Maybe caring is my shortcoming. If I develop a friendship, even a cyber one, and I begin to care. It has absolutely nothing to do with fault.

 

i dont know. i have thought that this would be better if i just sereved all ties with everyone i know.

but i dont see how that would work.

life stinks so bad today. -_-

i had THREE tests and a quiz

i have a project due tomorrow

i havnt worked out in days

im like.. between a boyfriend

he says he'll see me soon.

i dont know how i feel

i semi broke down to my mom today

i started crying and i was yelling about how i hate myself and how i dont understand how people live. i asked her if everyone felt this way.. im so tired of living my life.

i dont have the courage to kill myself though

i couldnt

i would have if i did

i know wut i need to feel okay

i need to control myself

push these thoughts out of my head

exercise more

study more

get my job offcially

make money

and party my worries away

ill be okay.

 

I can't help but care, Lauren. You're human, aren't you?

That's jsut who I am. If you want to know how much I care about you, go read DCTalk's JesusFreak series.

Now that's a radical faith....

 

Moving on.... :blush:

 

 

yea,

well i can sqaure with that

but like you gotta just see im not so bad..

i oknom i do everything 'wrong' but your standards

but like.. idk. this just feels right.

My standards? They aren't my standards.

You're right. You're not that bad by my standards. My standards are as human as yours, just a bit tempered down. God's standards are the ones I follow, not mine.

 

If it were the other way around, I'd be as bad off as my ex. That's bad.

 

if your standards and "god's" standards are one in the same they are still yours

 

my standards are different.

 

wut do you mean? im slow.. explain.

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i wish you wouldnt care..though i guess its my fault.

Maybe caring is my shortcoming. If I develop a friendship, even a cyber one, and I begin to care. It has absolutely nothing to do with fault.

 

i dont know. i have thought that this would be better if i just sereved all ties with everyone i know.

but i dont see how that would work.

life stinks so bad today. -_-

i had THREE tests and a quiz

i have a project due tomorrow

i havnt worked out in days

im like.. between a boyfriend

he says he'll see me soon.

i dont know how i feel

i semi broke down to my mom today

i started crying and i was yelling about how i hate myself and how i dont understand how people live. i asked her if everyone felt this way.. im so tired of living my life.

i dont have the courage to kill myself though

i couldnt

i would have if i did

i know wut i need to feel okay

i need to control myself

push these thoughts out of my head

exercise more

study more

get my job offcially

make money

and party my worries away

ill be okay.

 

I can't help but care, Lauren. You're human, aren't you?

That's jsut who I am. If you want to know how much I care about you, go read DCTalk's JesusFreak series.

Now that's a radical faith....

 

Moving on.... :blush:

 

 

yea,

well i can sqaure with that

but like you gotta just see im not so bad..

i oknom i do everything 'wrong' but your standards

but like.. idk. this just feels right.

My standards? They aren't my standards.

You're right. You're not that bad by my standards. My standards are as human as yours, just a bit tempered down. God's standards are the ones I follow, not mine.

 

If it were the other way around, I'd be as bad off as my ex. That's bad.

 

if your standards and "god's" standards are one in the same they are still yours

 

my standards are different.

 

wut do you mean? im slow.. explain.

God has standards that not even Chrsitians can live up to, because we make the same mstakes as everyone else. The thing is, He sees us through Jesus Christ, kinda like sunglasses. You see things differently when you put on sunglasses. Well, God puts on His Songlasses when He sees a repentant Christian. And actually, I'm not better than you. We are all idiot human beings with idiot human tendencies and idiot Stanic temptation. Right? I'm human. You're human. We're equal. The difference is, I believe something totally different than anything the world has ever come up with. that's just it, though. The world comes up with the other religions. Christianity stemmed from Judaism, (but Jews don't belive Jesus was the Messiah.) and that stemmed from God Himself. The Jews are still waiting for someone. Well, Horatio is definitely going to delte this, but I have to finish it.

 

My standards are as such: Lying is ok bc it's not murder (I have been a pathological liar for years. I got burned, so I'm never lying about that again)

God's standard deviation: Lying is equivalent to murder. Sin is sin is sin.

My standards are as such: Stealing candy is ok bc it's just a candy bar. it's bad ofr you anyway so you pay by getting fat. (Stupid theory ut there you go)

God' standard deviation: Theifing a candy bar is as bad as theifing a car or a house or a million dollars or even a life. Raipe is theft. By definition, it is true. In God's eyes, all sin is the same.

 

Humans have degrees of sin. On a human scale, I'm about a 7. On God's scale, if I didnt repent and ask forgiveness when I sin, I'm a -42. Just like everybody else, we don't measure up. Jesus is the only way.

 

That's God's standard. God's standard is Holy Blood or no Holy Blood.

Here's human standards: Oh, a little is ok, as long as I'm better than that guy over there.

 

I live by God's standards because the human standards I learned as a child fall short. Even Mother Teresa could never do it on her own. She had to acccept Christ as the Saviour (theSaviour) if she wanted to get to heaven.

 

God has no ifs ands or buts. Only Jesus or Tophet. Take your pick.

 

Does that explain it a little better, or will horatio totally annihilate my post because it has the word God in it? I cant save my post either... :(

 

God bless...

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HampsterKing has asked that religion topics remain in the religion topic. The best I could do, not to lose the content thread, was to post it here.

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HampsterKing has asked that religion topics remain in the religion topic. The best I could do, not to lose the content thread, was to post it here.

huh? but I dont see anything different.

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*revives topic*

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